Christmas Promise by Kaylie Singleton

Author:Kaylie Singleton [Singleton, Kaylie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Red Theory Romance
Published: 2019-12-01T16:00:00+00:00

8

Eight Maids a-Milking

Last night was like something out of a dream for me. James kept to his promises and gave me even more. We watched the fireworks together at midnight and drank mulled wine by the fire, talking for hours. I showed him my photography and he praised me, as though it was the best thing he’d ever seen. We snuggled close under blankets, and I broke all of my own rules about the festive season. I ate foods that have left a bad taste in my mouth since David left. I drank more mulled wine last night than I have for four years. I allowed myself to give in to all the positive feelings in my heart, and it felt good. When James kissed me goodnight and wished me a Happy New Year, I felt my heart soaring. I was on top of the world.

So why do I feel so strange today?

A lot happened yesterday, for sure. It’s only natural that it shook me up. From James’ story about Jennifer to my kiss with him, my whole world turned upside down. It makes sense that I feel a little odd. The pessimist in me is probably looking for something to be wrong. And even though it’s entirely possible that everything is absolutely fine, I still feel like something bad might be about to happen.

He was my first kiss since David. Or at least, my first kiss with any meaning. I spent a long time feeling lousy, convincing myself that I’m unworthy of anyone’s love, let alone someone as pure and perfect as James. His story yesterday only intensified the fact that he’s flawless to me. But while all bad situations have a silver lining, every perfect scenario has something to turn it sour.

James will go back to England soon enough. I’ll go back home to New York, and we won’t see each other for another year. That’s too long. Slowly, his feelings for me will fall flat. He’ll forget that I exist and go back to his life in high-society. He’ll go to parties and there will be pretty girls there who will catch his eye. And who am I kidding? We’ve shared one kiss. It’s not like we’re getting married tomorrow. A kiss means nothing in this day and age. I can hardly get mad at him for moving on at some point. Hasn’t everyone indulged in a holiday romance at one point or another?

But it hurts. It hurts to imagine there is someone else out there for him. The romantic in me wants him to only have eyes for me. The wounded heart in my chest wants this to be the perfect happily ever after. If James can’t offer me that, then isn’t it better for me to withdraw before I get hurt?

I can’t do this. I thought I could, but I can’t. As I watch a piece of paper being shoved under my door, I close my eyes. He’s trying so hard, but how long can

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